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My Success Is Your Success
This book in our change management series is addressed to thoughtful students, parents, workers, educators, artists, athletes, physicians, managers, leaders, retirees, writers, or coaches, whether they work alone or belong to a team or organization struggling with and committed to SUCCESS. Our hope, or goal, is to spark new intellectual capital by sharing ideas. In short we aim to publish a book that disturbs the present in order to bring forth a better LIFE.

You want to discover how to be successful in life!

Of course, we all want to succeed in life. We all want to be able to live our dream life away from all the struggles and constant worry of our everyday problems.


We all have different definitions of success, but for most people, success can mean that you want to live a happy, wealthy, contented and overall, a better life than the one you are currently living in, especially if it is far from the life you expected.


If now you are not there yet, or you would like to be there, and you feel within yourself that you will succeed by putting in the necessary effort to achieve your goals, then it will eventually happen.


Now however you define success whether financial, spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, philanthropic, community or family, the most important thing you need to know about success to be successful is that success is important and that you are solely responsible for it.


You need to dig deep into your life story to understand who you are as a human being, where you fit into this world, how you can positively impact the world, and how you can leave a lasting legacy.


This is the goal of « My Success is Your Success » which will help you develop a clear and detailed plan for your personal growth, success, and happiness in life. Here it is a guide of questions, reflections, and answers.


I encourage you to be completely open and transparent with yourself as you answer the difficult and challenging questions you will ask yourself about who you think you should be in the future.


At this point, it is important to keep in mind that changing your life for a better destiny is solely up to you!


If you want to grow and progress in your life as well as in your career, you obviously need to equip yourself with the skills and knowledge to be a proactive person in the face of threats and ready for the future, to achieve success.

This book describes how to improve your ability to reach your goals for success. Success is the only part of our lives that we can achieve by what we do or don't do.

Germain Decelles, o.s.j., MBA

CHAPTER 1 – A meaningful life                                                                     
1. Physical needs:
2. Security needs:
3. Social needs:
4. Self-esteem needs:
5. Self-realization needs:
The characteristics of motivated people - 49
1. They are absolutely clear about what they want:
2. They always live their purpose:
3. They ignore detractors:
4. They are always passionate and full of energy:
5. They act massively and keep progressing:
6. They dare to sacrifice and take risks:
7. They take full responsibility for everything that happens to them:
8. They defer instant gratification:
9. They work very hard: should I explain more?
10. They make mistakes and fail, but don't give up:
Learn to find your passion in life.
1. Is there anything you already like to do?
2. Discover your passion:
3. Ask around:
4. Don't quit your job just yet:
5. Try it out first:
6. Never stop trying:
How do you find your vocation?
1. Your vocation is who you are, not what you do:
2. A vocation is to do things in their totality:
3. Your vocation leaves you with an aftertaste of being unqualified or outdated:
4. A vocation always advances the world and contributes to the common good:
5. A vocation involves a community:
CHAPTER 2 – Discovering yourself as to better understand others
Do you get angry easily?
Are you resentful, shy, or too talkative?
1. The sanguine:
2. The melancholic:
3. The choleric:
4. The phlegmatic:
Are you a spoiled child?
Are you self-centered?
Are you logical?
Do you take everything for granted?
1. Honesty and trust are the most important:
2. Self-confidence makes us progress:
3. Self-control empowers us:
4. Stress control keeps us focused on the important things:
5. Setting goals keeps us moving in the right direction:
6. Limits keep us safe:
7. Personal strengths form a basis for other skills:
1. Think before you speak or act:
2. Don't be afraid to sit on the fence:
3. Be overly cautious:
4. Be more present:
5. Listen attentively:
6. Do research:
7. Keep Trusting Others:
8. Learn to recognize when someone is being dishonest:
9. Listen to your instincts:
10. Be open to meeting new people:
11. Go ahead and find out about life:
• Psychological and technical competence.
How do we assess a person's character?
1. Attitude:
2. Personal standard:
3. Support requests:
4. The value system:
5. Self-esteem:
6. The way to commit to others:
7. Scope of interests:
CHAPTER 3 –  A question of attitude 
Create and maintain a positive attitude.
1. Get into a morning routine:
2. Carry an attitude of happiness with you:
3. Taste the little pleasures:
4. Smile:
5. Transpose positivity in your brain:
6. Take your responsibilities:
7. Have a Zen attitude:
8. Be proactive:
9. Change your thoughts:
10. Have a purpose:
11. Focus on the good:
12. Stop expecting life to be easy:
13. Keep your enthusiasm:
14. Renounce the attitude that you are entitled to everything:
15. Visualize:
16. Stop complaining:
17. Watch your sayings:
18. Use the power of humor:
19. Use gratitude to improve your attitude:
20. Develop an attitude of curiosity:
21. Look for people with a positive attitude:
Pitfalls and possible situations.
1. You choose to leave when things aren't going well:
2. You put off until the following day:
3. You seek to argue:
4. You meet people who are not suitable for you:
5. You have difficulty expressing your needs:
6. You belittle yourself:
1. How to think positively:
2. The side effects of negative thoughts:
3. When to see a doctor:
1. Why is it good for you?
2. How does it work?
3. Transform negative self-talk into positive self-talk:
4. How to use self-talk on a daily basis?
5. When should I seek help?
CHAPTER 4 – Taking charge of your life
Having self-confidence can bring many benefits.
1. Better performance:
2. Healthy relationships:
3. Try new things:
4. Resilience:
Strengthen your self-confidence:
1. Does confidence matter?
2. Believe in yourself:
3. Be more confident:
4. The highs and lows of confidence:
5. How do you maintain faith when doubt sets in?
A question of perseverance.
1. The strength to carry on:
2. Stop comparing yourself to others:
3. Confront Your Fears:
4. Assess the risks:
5. Create an action plan:
6. Maintain your confidence:
7. Balance of work and private life:
What is critical thinking?
1. Identification:
2. Conduct research:
3. Identify biases:
4. The deduction:
5. The determination of relevance:
6. Curiosity:
What can I improve? What should I change?
1. Nurture your mind:
2. How to learn daily:
3. Make time to travel:
1. The first thing you sell is yourself:
2. Listen more than you talk:
3. Know whom to sell to:
4. Understand what makes the other party tick:
5. Keep it simple:
Take control of your life.
1. Define your own success:
2. Set yourself personal, academic and career goals:
3. Understand your abilities and incapacity:
4. Develop strategies to achieve your goals:
5. Use technology as an empowerment tool:
6. Work hard. Persevere. Be flexible:
7. Develop a network of mutual aid:
8. Train your mind:
Take charge of your life.
1. Humility:
2. Happiness:
3. Smile:
4. Be positive:
5. Be confident:
6. Believe in yourself:
7. Have dreams:
8. Your comfort zone:
9. Control:
10. Character:
11. How to address:
12. Mistakes:
13. Fix errors
14. Trust the process:
15. Breathe:
16. The competition:
17. Support others:
18. Appreciate:
19. Always be polite:
CHAPTER 5 – Facilitate positive exchanges                                                            
Listening is an essential aspect of success.
Be a positive influence capable of inspiring.
1. Care:
2. Be enthusiastic:
3. Gain trust:
4. If it's not positive, don't say it:
5. Think it over:
6. Value people:
7. Hang in there:
8. Admit your flaws:
9. Do active listening:
10. Be ambitious:
11. Provide constructive criticism:
12. Treat everyone equally:
13. Walk confidently:
14. Keep Calm:
15. Share your inspirations:
16. Acknowledge the contributions of others:
17. Keep your promises:
18. Stay true to yourself:
19. Explore other possibilities:
20. Don't go overboard:
21. Leave people free to act:
Motivate others to do what you think is important.
1. Explain to them:
2. Involve them:
3. Trust them:
4. Inspire them:
5. Value them:
6. Reward them:
7. Challenge them:
8. Celebrate them:
9. Inform them
Influencing people in a positive way.
1. Be authentic:
2. Listen:
3. Become an expert:
4. Use narratives:
5. Lead by example:
6. Identify people who do well:
7. Be praiseworthy:
8. Be nice instead of always being « right »:
9. Understand logical, emotional and cooperation needs:
10. Your sphere of influence
To obtain what you want.
1. Be confident:
2. Present a logical argument:
3. Make it seem beneficial to the other party:
4. Choose your words carefully:
5. Use flattery:
6. Be patient, but persistent:
Ways to convince intelligently.
1. Give them the opportunity to explain themselves:
2. The reverse approach is much more efficient:
3. Match their reasoning:
4. Compliment their thought process:
5. Present the counter-argument:
6. Be clear and direct:
Man and Woman.
1. Enjoy the difference:
2. The differences:
3. Dealing with problems:
4. Information exchange:
5. The elastic effect:
6. A mutual understanding:
7. Emotional needs:
8. Arguments:
9. Give and appreciate:
10. Communicate difficult emotions:
11. How to request assistance:
12. A question of maturity:
13. Life Changing Factors:
CHAPTER 6 – Commit to success                                                               
Make effective and immediate changes.
1. Build a strong team:
2. Let the team know what you expect of them:
3. Foster a culture of transparency:
4. Foster, open, free communication:
5. Establish a strong work ethic:
6. Develop a culture of trust:
7. Make use of innovation:
8. Help your employees to develop:
9. Offer incentives:
10. Celebrate success:
11. The difference between involvement and commitment:
12. The benefits of commitment to work:
1. The strategy is derived from a detailed strategic planning process:
2. How to elaborate a strategy?
3. Which strategy to choose?
Why set objectives?
Begin by establishing personal goals.
Set your objectives.
1. Set lifelong goals:
2. Set smaller goals:
3. Stay the course:
4. Intelligent goals:
5. Achieve the goals:
CHAPTER 7 – Intellectual capacity                                                              

Develop different necessary strengths.

Above all, being creative means that you think!
1. The imagination exercise:
2. Passion:
3. Daydream:
4. Solitude:
5. Intuition:
6. Open to experiment:
7. Full consciousness:
8. Sensitivity:
9. Transform adversity into advantage:
10. Thinking otherwise:
1. Give up depending on others:
2. Dream, think and create:
3. Surround yourself with excellence:
4. Look for jobs with no added value:
5. Combat your fear of failure:
6. Expand your comfort zone:
7. Avoid stress, enjoy life:
1. Learn to say, no to things that do not enlighten you:
2. Let curiosity lead you:
3. Anticipate, accept, and embrace your natural imperfections:
4. Don't compare yourself to others:
5. Making space and time for a creative Life:
6. Create a daily habit of creativity and stick to it:
7. Stop being your own worst critic:
8. Keep learning:
9. Expose yourself to new experiences:
10. Keep showing up no matter what:
11. Get in touch with a creative
12. Don't limit yourself to one creative medium:
13. Share your creations:
14. Let your creativity evolve over time:
15. Don't forget to have fun:
1. What is innovation?
2. Why don't we innovate more?
3. A form of irresponsibility:
4. The discontented:
5. Why resistance?
6. Make ideas viable:
7. Determining factors:
1. What is brainstorming?
2. Why use brainstorming?
3. Instructions for use!
4. Individual brainstorming:
5. The next step - take action!

CHAPTER 8 – How to understand each other                                            
Develop your communication skills.
1. Active listening:
2. The communication method:
a. Body language:
b. Gestures
c. Facial expressions:
d. Paralanguage:
3. Written communication:
4. Visual communication:
5. Amiability:
6. Trust:
7. Share comments:
8. Volume and transparency:
9. Empathy:
10. Respect
11. The ability to react quickly:
Navigate in these circumstances.
1. Break free:
2. Try to figure out what's behind the drama:
3. Find out the facts:
4. Ask them to come up with a solution:
5. Set boundaries:
6. Distance yourself:
7. Look for nice people:
8. Don't become a drama seeker:
How do you deal with an unpleasant person?
1. Act impeccably:
2. Observe the dynamics:
3. Be careful:
4. Don't let them sap your energy:
5. Re-energize:
6. Know when to ask for help:
7. Identify your limitations
Emotional manipulation in a life.
1. What is the manipulation?
2. Why is manipulation bad?
3. Why do people manipulate?
4. What are the signs of manipulation?
5. What are the impacts of manipulation?
6. How to stop being manipulated?
7. What to expect when you stop playing?
8. Where can I find additional help?
Become the person you always dream of.
1. Start with generational differences:
2. Recognize the triggers:
3. Consider the personalities:
4. Examine non-verbal communication:
5. Be the person who listens:
6. Change the way you see things:
a. The victim mentality:
b. The hero's state of mind:
c. The scarcity mentality:
d. The Abundance Mindset:
e. The fixed mindset:
f. The growth mindset:
g. The Agile Mindset:
7. The right state of mind:
8. Change your mindset:
9. Cultivate an abundance mentality:
a. Be proactive:
b. Start with the end, in mind:
c. Think win-win:
d. Practice assertiveness:
e. Adopt an attitude of gratitude:
10. Cultivate a growth mindset:
a. Choose a growth mindset:
b. Focus on apprenticeship rather than success:
c. Appreciate the process:
d. Explore and develop what you are capable of:
e. The reward is your growth:
11. Adopt an agile mindset:
a. The core belief of an agile mindset:
b. Cultivate an agile mentality:
1. Choose to be more flexible in your approach:
2. Create more possibilities:
3. Practice scenario planning:
4. Reframe your problems
5. Do the opposite:
12. Change someone's opinion:
a. Keep calm:
b. Have them come to conclusions:
c. Ask them to explain their point of view:
d. Ask yourself a few questions:
e. Have long responses:
f. Be sensitive
g. Know your audience:
CHAPTER 9 – Decision-making meanders                                                 
Decisions throughout the day.
1. Don't let stress get the better of you:
2. Give yourself some time, if possible:
3. Weigh the pros and cons:
4. Think about your goals and values:
5. Consider all the possibilities:
6. Talk about it:
7. Note:
8. Plan how you will tell others:
9. Rethink your possibilities:
If you are going through a difficult time:
A. What is cognitive bias?
B. What are the most common types of cognitive biases?
1. Actor-observer bias:
2. Anchoring bias:
3. Attentional Bias:
4. Availability heuristic:
5. Validation bias:
6. Overestimation bias:
7. False, consensus effect:
8. Functional fixity:
9. Aureole effect:
10. Misinformation Effect:
11. Optimism bias:
12. Selfish Bias:
C. How does cognitive bias affect you?
D. Can cognitive biases be avoided?
A. How to take advantage of intuition and make better decisions?
B. Rational versus Intuitive:
C. Why is intuition useful?
D. Why are we not listening to intuition?
E. How to develop one's intuition?
The problem solving process.
1. Define the problem:
2. Set goals:
3. Think about possible solutions:
4. Rule out all the obvious mediocre options:
5. Consider the consequences:
6. Identify the best solutions:
7. Put your solutions into practice:
8. How did it go?
9. What if you can't solve the problem?
A. How to ask the right questions.
B. How to narrow your questions.
A fundamental part of life.
1. Prepare and know exactly what you want:
2. Focus on potential:
3. Establish an atmosphere of trust and transparency:
4. Know how to dispel intimidation attempts:
5. Advanced negotiation tactics:
6. Tough guys don't win:
7. Listen:
8. Find out what really matters to the other party:
9. Put on the scene:
10. Announce your colors:
11. Bargaining Power:
12. Some offers just don't work:
13. Enjoy:
14. Remember win-win:
We are hesitant to confront for many reasons.
Do it peacefully and productively.
1. Ask yourself, is this worth mentioning?
2. Pick the right moment:
3. Choose the best introduction:
4. Wait for their reaction, here is what they could do:
5. Is the action justified?
6. The irrational defense:
7. The idiot's game:
8. Put the pride aside:
9. Screaming is irrational:
10. Keep them in the past:
11. Irrational and erratic behavior:
12. Think about what happened:
CHAPTER 10 – How to achieve wellness                                                    
Where does wellness come from?
1. Emotional well-being:
2. Physical well-being:
3. Collective well-being:
4. Well-being in the workplace:
5. Societal well-being:
Stress can be felt in different circumstances:
You can all experience it differently:
1. Symptoms of stress:
2. Physical effects of chronic stress:
3. Emotional effects of chronic stress:
4. Manage stress:
5. The causes of stress:
6. Stress Diagnosis:
7. Stress and mental health:
8. Stress management:
1. Fatigue symptoms:
2. Causes of fatigue:
A. What causes nervousness?
B. How do you calm your nerves?
1. What are the salient personality traits of the psychic vampire?
2. What warning signs should be kept in mind?
3. Why do these people need to « steal » their loved ones?
4. What is the ideal victim's personality type?
5. Should we then be wary of everyone to avoid being « vampirize? »
6. How to get out of anxiety-provoking relationships with a psychic vampire?
7. Can the psychic vampire, him, regain autonomy?
8. How do you recognize an affective vampire?
9. What are the consequences for their victims?
10. How to guard against it or detach yourself from it?
11. How do I know if I am a psychic vampire?
12. Psychic vampires or narcissistic pervert, how to tell the difference?
13. How do you cure a psychic vampire?
Grieving is a natural response to the loss.
A. The approach:
B. Myths and realities:
C. Dealing with the process:
D. The stages.
E. Emotional and physical symptoms:
F. Seeking support:
1. Smiling helps you live longer:
2. Smiling reduces stress:
3. A smile lifts the mood:
4. Smiling is contagious:
5. Smiling stimulates the immune system:
6. Smiling can lower blood pressure:
7. Smiling decrease pain:
8. Smiling makes you attractive:
9. A smile suggests success:
1. The benefits of humor:
2. Situations where humor can be beneficial:
3. How to use humor effectively:
4. Adopt the right kind of humor:
5. Adopt the right style of humor:
6. Humor as an effective reminder:
Life is short, enjoy it while it lasts.
1. What is a good life?
2. The qualities of a good life:
3. How to make the transition from a good life to a beautiful life?
CHAPTER 11 – Success thanks to those around you                               
Your success is linked to the people around you:
Put into perspective what a visionary leader is.
1. Leadership and people:
2. Mediocrity:
3. Teamwork:
4. Develop a swarm of ideas:
5. Don't push people:
6. Freedom to work:
7. Value people:
8. Do not react:
9. Above all build:
10. Show respect:
11. Generate enthusiasm:
12. Have courage:
13. Surround yourself:
14. Your value:
15. Don't think too much:
16. Do you have the correct answers:
17. Change someone's life:
18. Learn from mistakes:
19. Disagreements:
20. Change, evolve:
21. Challenge:
22. Surround yourself with smart people:
23. Develop a culture:
24. Be visionary
1. The vision statement:
2. The mission statement:
Achieve progress that benefits everyone.
1. Choose the right person for the job:
2. Explain why you delegate:
3. Provide proper instructions:
4. Provide resources and training:
5. Delegate responsibilities and authority:
6. Check the work and provide feedback:
7. Say thank you:
A. The society of the last decades:
B. Success starts with the family:
C. Parenting is not easy:
1. Boost your child's self-esteem:
2. Research your children's successes:
3. Set boundaries and be consistent with your discipline:
4. Make time for your children:
5. Be a good role model:
6. Make, communication a priority:
7. Be flexible and ready to adjust your parenting style:
8. Show that your love is unconditional:
9. Know your own needs and boundaries as a parent:
CHAPTER 12 – Your success is based on common sense                      
The ability to perceive, understand and exercise judgment:
1. Trust yourself:
2. Take emotion out of the equation:
3. Do not complicate anything:
4. Act with intelligence:
1. The purpose and significance of common sense:
2. How to use common sense:
1. Know how to cook and know how food arrives at your table:
2. Know how to grow your own food:
3. Knowing how to feed:
4. Know and respect your environment:
5. Know how to budget and not spend more than you earn:
6. Know your body's limits:
7. Knowing how to analyze situations and think for yourself:
8. Know how to repair objects:
9. Know how to plan:
10. Knowing how to be resourceful:
11. Knowing how to relate to the community:
12. Know how to protect yourself:
13. You don't have to be very educated:
Common sense is learned through experience.
1. Your principles:
2. The qualities of a person of principle:
3. A person who has principles:
Good character is essential to successful relationships.
1. Achieve peace of mind:
2. Build confidence:
3. Build yourself a solid reputation:
4. Reduce anxiety:
5. Increase leadership effectiveness:
6. Build on trust:
7. Become a positive role model:
8. Live a purpose-driven life:
The ability to exercise good judgment in making decisions.
Simple ways to practice respecting others:
1. Be kind and courteous:
2. Listen and be present:
3. Say, « Thank you! »:
4. Be polite:
5. Pay attention to other people's time:
6. Be humble and considerate:
7. Be honest:
8. Give a helping hand or lend a listening ear:
9. Avoid gossip:
10. Do not abuse your power:
11. Respect physical boundaries:
Secouez vos préjugés et obtenez une vision plus claire :
1. Understand the limits of objectivity:
2. Find your weak points:
3. Become more objective:
4. Check your personality type:
5. Check your personality type:
1. Be honest with yourself:
2. Be honest with others:
3. Focus on the process rather than the result:
4. Listen to the changes in yourself:
5. Learn from your mistakes:
6. The power of time itself:
7. Believe that you have a contribution to make:
8. Be kind to others:
Human beings can live without religion, but they cannot live without spirituality.
1. Cultural identity:
2. The values and ethics:
3. The Spiritual Bond:
4. The idea of wellness:
1. Spirituality means:
2. Spirituality entails:
3. Spiritual journeying involves:
4. The development of spirituality:
5. Religion formalizes:

In addition to writing, Germain acts as change management facilitator and project researcher.
Each year, he offers several seminars and training sessions on change management and business transformation. Additionally, he serves as Chairman of WebTech Management and Publishing Incorporated.

Germain Decelles has over 40 years of business and consultation experience on local and international markets, including sectors such as: retail trade, distribution, information technology and communications, transportation, manufacturing, financial services and government organizations.

Germain attended the campus of Ford Motors Management Institute, Chrysler Leasing Institute, International Forecasting Institute, McGill University, Kappa Institute, Digital Equipment Computer Institute. He holds a Master of Business Administration from Concordia College & University and a certificate in business management and organization of the Hautes Études Commerciales de Montréal (CDN).
Germain Decelles, o.s.j., MBA
Member of the Canadian Coast Guard, retired (S.A.C.S.M.), Secretary of the General Assembly and International Advisor. He received the Admiralty service award in 1990 for promoting the service internationally. Member of the Sovereign Order of Saint John of Jerusalem.
Germain and his family live in Montreal, Quebec, Canada.
You can contact him at:

L'art de la gestion - L'impact de la technologie
Copyright 1996-2005-10-13- 23: WebTech Management and Publishing Incorporated.
Tous droits réservés. Information légale