Article published on LinkedIn.com:
November 2, 2023
think they do not like to negotiate because it can feel too
much like being in conflict, but the truth is that we
negotiate every day with our co-workers, family members, and
Conflict is a
natural byproduct of human interaction, and how we handle it
can determine what kind of success we experience in our lives.
In contrast to unresolved conflict, effective negotiation can
build trust between people or companies and make it easier to
communicate in the future.
negotiation is not a contest of wills to determine who has the
most power. It is not a game in which each party seeks to best
the other. However, there are rules that make the dialogue
respectful and the outcomes fair.
There is no
need to personalize the issues with remarks about the person
on the other side of the table. You simply need to stick to
the issues. Separate the people from the issues. Recognize
that there are emotions and investment on both sides, and be
prepared to listen well.
will need to understand the point, of view of the others
before you can expect to be understood. Be soft on people and
hard-on issues. This way, you can maintain the relationships
and mutually satisfying outcomes.
You will need
to focus on the interests of the other, rather than his or her
position. Behind each position lies compatible as well as
conflicting interests. Negotiations do not take place in a
vacuum. Each person has a real life going on, with actual
needs and interests.
Work with the
other party to generate a variety of options from which to
create a solution, and brainstorm possibilities without
judgment or comment. You would be surprised how many good
ideas can surface when this is allowed to occur. Make no
decisions until you have exhausted your list of possibilities.
Then look for areas of agreement.
Where are your
shared interests? Explore options that are of low cost to you
and high value to the other party and vice versa.
imperative to negotiate within mutually agreed-upon standards
of fairness. Otherwise, negotiating can turn toward street
may range from current market value to procedures for
resolving conflict. They will allow you to create an equitable
solution while keeping your relationship intact.
beginning to negotiate decide on the ground rules and stick to
them. Negotiating fairly builds trust. Demonstrations of power
setting the standard for future conversations as well.
you teach people how to treat you in two ways: you know, set,
and enforce your boundaries, and you demonstrate your values
in the ways you treat others.
maintaining strong positions are best left for those fun
holiday moments when you do not really care whether or not the
street vendor sells you that black velvet painting.
business world, those tactics may bring you short-term
results; however, the long-term damage to the relationships
involved may be irreparable. Remember that wherever there is a
winner, there must be a loser. Hard-nosed bargaining usually
leaves both sides exhausted, resentful, and dissatisfied. You
may know this from bitter experience. You will especially
relate to this if you were on the losing end!
Remember to be
clear about the outcome you prefer, before entering into a
dialogue of negotiation. Be able to express this preference
well with supporting statements that will make sense to your
partner. Be prepared to listen more, or, at least, as much as
you speak. Listen for common interests and possible options.
Know what you are willing to give as well as what you would
like to receive. When you are focused this way, you will get
more of what you want, often while winning friends and
influencing people. This is a compelling reason for
integrating these rules into your next negotiation!
This 642-page book is the result of a four-year project
called Project Tomorrow. During the four-year period,
we followed more than 500 trainees, aged from 16 to
It is also the fruit of forty years of experience
acquired with local and international organizations
and companies and during consultancy, change
management, transition, and marketing services. For
more information go to:
About the Author
ISO Pour Tous
– Le manuel
d’information ISO – Le guide de préparation ISO – La
gestion du changement en affaires – La gestion de
projet d’affaires – Le
changement POUR TOUS –
Change Your Future,
Now! – Mon succès est votre succès –
My Success Is Your Success.
Germain Decelles, o.s.j.
WebTech Management and Publishing Incorpored