Article published on November 2, 2023


Mon succès est votre succès


Many people think they do not like to negotiate because it can feel too much like being in conflict, but the truth is that we negotiate every day with our co-workers, family members, and friends.

Conflict is a natural byproduct of human interaction, and how we handle it can determine what kind of success we experience in our lives. In contrast to unresolved conflict, effective negotiation can build trust between people or companies and make it easier to communicate in the future.

Effective negotiation is not a contest of wills to determine who has the most power. It is not a game in which each party seeks to best the other. However, there are rules that make the dialogue respectful and the outcomes fair.

There is no need to personalize the issues with remarks about the person on the other side of the table. You simply need to stick to the issues. Separate the people from the issues. Recognize that there are emotions and investment on both sides, and be prepared to listen well.

First, you will need to understand the point, of view of the others before you can expect to be understood. Be soft on people and hard-on issues. This way, you can maintain the relationships and mutually satisfying outcomes.

You will need to focus on the interests of the other, rather than his or her position. Behind each position lies compatible as well as conflicting interests. Negotiations do not take place in a vacuum. Each person has a real life going on, with actual needs and interests.

Work with the other party to generate a variety of options from which to create a solution, and brainstorm possibilities without judgment or comment. You would be surprised how many good ideas can surface when this is allowed to occur. Make no decisions until you have exhausted your list of possibilities. Then look for areas of agreement.

Where are your shared interests? Explore options that are of low cost to you and high value to the other party and vice versa.

It is imperative to negotiate within mutually agreed-upon standards of fairness. Otherwise, negotiating can turn toward street fighting!

These criteria may range from current market value to procedures for resolving conflict. They will allow you to create an equitable solution while keeping your relationship intact.

Before beginning to negotiate decide on the ground rules and stick to them. Negotiating fairly builds trust. Demonstrations of power erode it.

You are setting the standard for future conversations as well.

Remember that you teach people how to treat you in two ways: you know, set, and enforce your boundaries, and you demonstrate your values in the ways you treat others.

Bargaining and maintaining strong positions are best left for those fun holiday moments when you do not really care whether or not the street vendor sells you that black velvet painting.

In the business world, those tactics may bring you short-term results; however, the long-term damage to the relationships involved may be irreparable. Remember that wherever there is a winner, there must be a loser. Hard-nosed bargaining usually leaves both sides exhausted, resentful, and dissatisfied. You may know this from bitter experience. You will especially relate to this if you were on the losing end!

Remember to be clear about the outcome you prefer, before entering into a dialogue of negotiation. Be able to express this preference well with supporting statements that will make sense to your partner. Be prepared to listen more, or, at least, as much as you speak. Listen for common interests and possible options. Know what you are willing to give as well as what you would like to receive. When you are focused this way, you will get more of what you want, often while winning friends and influencing people. This is a compelling reason for integrating these rules into your next negotiation!

Mon succès est votre succès

This 642-page book is the result of a four-year project called Project Tomorrow. During the four-year period, we followed more than 500 trainees, aged from 16 to 72.

It is also the fruit of forty years of experience acquired with local and international organizations and companies and during consultancy, change management, transition, and marketing services. For more information go to: .

About the Author

In addition to writing, Germain Decelles acts as Change Management Strategist. He has over 40 years of business and consultation experience with local and international markets, including sectors such as retail trade, distribution, information technology and communications, transportation, manufacturing, financial services, and government organizations.

Other publications: ISO Pour Tous – Le manuel d’information ISO – Le guide de préparation ISO – La gestion du changement en affaires – La gestion de projet d’affaires – Le changement POUR TOUS Change Your Future, Now! – Mon succès est votre succès – My Success Is Your Success.

Press Contact

Germain Decelles, o.s.j.

WebTech Management and Publishing Incorpored

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