Article published on May 17, 2023


Mon succès est votre succès


Have you ever somehow found yourself in the same place repeatedly?

Why do I keep doing this?

Why does this keep happening to me?

Do you ask yourself these questions, when you feel trapped in situations that create problems in your life and prevent you from achieving your goals?

If this sounds familiar, you might be sabotaging yourself.

Self-sabotage refers to behaviors or ways of thinking that hold you back and prevent you from accomplishing.

Self-sabotage happens when you do certain things that were appropriate in a context but are no longer necessary.

In other words, these behaviors helped you adapt to a past situation, such as a traumatic childhood or a toxic relationship, in order to survive the challenges you faced.

They may have appeased you or defended you at the time. However, these methods of adaptation, when situations and circumstances evolve or simply change, they can cause difficulties.

Some of the major contributing factors, for example, experiences established in our early relationships are often repeated in relationships throughout life. We are attached to these experiences. They mean something to us and it's hard to let them go.

Now suppose you had parents who never paid much attention to you unless they were angry.

You know it's not a good thing to make people angry, however, this experience for you is compelling because of this parenting. For you, making people angry is the only way to generate interest, so you feel stuck in this life experience where it is tempting, even attractive, to make people angry with you.

This can appear, for example, in your work, where you fail to show up on time. At first, your supervisor forgives and encourages you, but as time goes on and you're still not on time, your supervisor gets angry and eventually fires you.

There is also the dynamic of past relationships.

If you haven't felt supported or heard when asking for what you needed in past relationships, romantic or otherwise, you may struggle to communicate effectively in your present relationships.

Whether you had an abusive partner or a partner who simply didn't care about your thoughts and feelings, you may not have felt able to express yourself.

You have remained silent to protect yourself from anger, rejection, and other negative experiences. But as a result, you have not learned to defend your needs and rights.

You need to put everything into perspective, because present situations are different from those of the past. It can be difficult to get out of destructive situations that are similar or not, but it is always better to ask for help than to continue the destruction of your life.

Here we all need to remember Homer Simpson comment, « Are you your worst enemy? Free yourself from Self-Sabotage! Self-sabotage is the set of behaviors, habits, and attitudes that a person possesses that prevent them from having the life they want. »

Find out more about « Discovering yourself as to better understand others » with My Success Is Your Success. The book through questions, quotes and reflections provides the necessary elements to explore all about motivation so to shape your success and help those around you do the same. Remember that success is all about team efforts!

Mon succès est votre succès

This book is the result of forty years of experience acquired with local and international organizations and companies and during consultancy, change management, transition and marketing services.

This 404-page personal development book was published by WebTech Publishing and is available online in English, North American French and European versions. For more information and to view the flip book, visit webtechPublishing.

About the Author

In addition to writing, Germain Decelles acts as Change Management Strategist. He has over 40 years of business and consultation experience with local and international markets, including sectors such as retail trade, distribution, information technology and communications, transportation, manufacturing, financial services, and government organizations.

Other publications: ISO Pour Tous – Le manuel d’information ISO – Le guide de préparation ISO – La gestion du changement en affaires – La gestion de projet d’affaires – Le changement POUR TOUS Change your future, now! – Mon succès est votre succès.

Press Contact

Germain Decelles, o.s.j.

WebTech Management et Publication Incorpored

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