Article published on LinkedIn.com: June 28, 2023
We need to go beyond visual and
How do we
assess a person's character?
people first assess themselves visually, not only by skin
color, but also by height, weight, gender, hair and eye color,
eye shape, car driving, the inhabited house, etc.
It is our simplest and default way
of forming an opinion about the qualities of others.
look at superficial aspects like a person's education,
relatives, job, people they associate with, where they live,
the church they belong to, their political party.
In the third
line, what we find out when we talk to a person. Usually, we
react emotionally to people when we talk to them. This
emotional reaction is not always helpful.
feel positive and warm towards people who are outgoing,
energetic, sometimes loud, or invasive.
our automatic emotional reaction to how they present
themselves and what we learned in childhood about how to
decide that these people have high levels of integrity,
reliability, and kindness, all from our automatic emotional
reactions, when in fact, they may not possess any of these
On the other
hand, shy people, who are less exuberant, low-key, and
quieter, may evoke a different emotional reaction, making us
Automatically and emotionally evaluating them as cold, less
kind, and having lower integrity, when this may be an
discernment of the character of others is automatic and
emotionally driven, we fail to consider the realities of
another person's situation or circumstances.
So, if we
only use the emotional approach to judge others, it can often
result in assessments that can be more or less biased. Because
living automatically under emotional conditioning, shapes our
lives and our relationships without some level of filtration.
the character of another, we must recognize the personalities
that we and the others have.
Once we know
this, we can predict our future reactions, thoughts, and
behaviors with high levels of consistency and probability. We
will have a way of judging the character reasonably well.
determine the character, we can do better with another
approach. We can look at people as they really exist in their
personality. To make your life easier, let's base ourselves on
two types of personalities: « omnipotent » and « powerless. »
will find seven-character traits that allow you to evaluate
people more accurately:
the attitude of people with omnipotent type personalities
reveals that they have a great sense of pride and can also be
helpless personalities display arrogant attitudes and may show
outrage when questioned.
standard: the personal standard of omnipotent personalities is
to strive for perfection. Nothing less will do. They
demonstrate strong problem-solving skills and try to think
through how to control and resolve various situations that
Powerless personalities display
personal standards of opportunism. They take the path of least
resistance. They focus on their personal needs and desires.
requests: omnipotent personalities avoid dependence on others
and enjoy others' dependence on them. As a result, such
omnipotent personalities rarely ask others for help.
mantra, I can do it myself. They are looking for relationships
that feel no appreciation for the benefits received but give
much to others.
personalities love to be looked after by others and depend on
others to get things done for them.
they excel at demanding that others meet their needs and may
not be grateful when others meet their needs.
4. The value
system: people with omnipotent personalities may put
themselves down and have inflated esteem for people who
demonstrate few true attributes or accomplishments. Powerless
personalities value themselves highly and place a lower value
Self-esteem: the self-esteem of omnipotents can suffer despite
a fierce work ethic and their own accomplishments. Powerless
personalities show high and even inflated self-esteem, even
when they have few real accomplishments.
6. The way
to commit to others: omnipotent personalities are steadfast
and display a way of commitment to others that is so loyal
and, devoted that those commitments endure even when
relationships fizzle out.
personalities engage conditionally. Based on changing whims,
they will end their relationship at the slightest
7. Scope of
interests: omnipotent personalities have an extremely broad
field of interest. They have many and varied passions,
especially those that perceive any injustice done to others.
The range of
interests of powerless personalities is much narrower. Their
passions are uniquely personal and reflect a unique vision.
Now you have
a way to gauge another person's character unfolding by
measuring these traits. You can observe the values, thoughts,
interests, functioning and style of interaction of your
can circumvent your instinctive and emotional reactions that
stem from what you see, what you learn superficially, and your
automatic and emotional way of judging people.
will allow you to go beyond visual and superficial judgments.
You will be
able to replace these unnecessary and inaccurate instinctive
and emotional reactions by meticulously observing and
evaluating people's standards for their attitudes, their
desire or refusal of emotional support, their value system,
their self-esteem, their way of being, commitment to others
and the extent of their interests in life.
more about « understanding others » with My Success Is Your
Success. The book through questions, quotes and reflections
provides the necessary elements to explore all about
motivation so to shape your success and help those around you
do the same. Remember that success is all about team efforts!
This book is the result of forty years
of experience acquired with local and international
organizations and companies and during consultancy,
change management, transition and marketing services.
personal development book was published by WebTech
Publishing and is available online in English, North
American French and European versions. For more
information and to view the flip book, visit
About the Author
ISO Pour Tous
– Le manuel
d’information ISO – Le guide de préparation ISO – La
gestion du changement en affaires – La gestion de
projet d’affaires – Le
changement POUR TOUS –
Change your future,
now! – Mon succès est votre succès.
Germain Decelles, o.s.j.
WebTech Management et Publication Incorpored