UNDERSTAND OTHERS

We need to go beyond visual and superficial judgments.

How do we assess a person's character?

In general, people first assess themselves visually, not only by skin color, but also by height, weight, gender, hair and eye color, eye shape, car driving, the inhabited house, etc.

It is our simplest and default way of forming an opinion about the qualities of others.

Second, we look at superficial aspects like a person's education, relatives, job, people they associate with, where they live, the church they belong to, their political party.

In the third line, what we find out when we talk to a person. Usually, we react emotionally to people when we talk to them. This emotional reaction is not always helpful.

Often, we feel positive and warm towards people who are outgoing, energetic, sometimes loud, or invasive.

It's about our automatic emotional reaction to how they present themselves and what we learned in childhood about how to conduct relationships.

We may decide that these people have high levels of integrity, reliability, and kindness, all from our automatic emotional reactions, when in fact, they may not possess any of these attributes.

On the other hand, shy people, who are less exuberant, low-key, and quieter, may evoke a different emotional reaction, making us feel untrustworthy.

Automatically and emotionally evaluating them as cold, less kind, and having lower integrity, when this may be an inaccurate assessment.

Since our discernment of the character of others is automatic and emotionally driven, we fail to consider the realities of another person's situation or circumstances.

So, if we only use the emotional approach to judge others, it can often result in assessments that can be more or less biased. Because living automatically under emotional conditioning, shapes our lives and our relationships without some level of filtration.

To assess the character of another, we must recognize the personalities that we and the others have.

Once we know this, we can predict our future reactions, thoughts, and behaviors with high levels of consistency and probability. We will have a way of judging the character reasonably well.

To better determine the character, we can do better with another approach. We can look at people as they really exist in their personality. To make your life easier, let's base ourselves on two types of personalities: Ť omnipotent ť and Ť powerless. ť

Below, you will find seven-character traits that allow you to evaluate people more accurately:

1. Attitude: the attitude of people with omnipotent type personalities reveals that they have a great sense of pride and can also be pretentious.

People with helpless personalities display arrogant attitudes and may show outrage when questioned.

2. Personal standard: the personal standard of omnipotent personalities is to strive for perfection. Nothing less will do. They demonstrate strong problem-solving skills and try to think through how to control and resolve various situations that arise.

Powerless personalities display personal standards of opportunism. They take the path of least resistance. They focus on their personal needs and desires.

3. Support requests: omnipotent personalities avoid dependence on others and enjoy others' dependence on them. As a result, such omnipotent personalities rarely ask others for help.

Their mantra, I can do it myself. They are looking for relationships that feel no appreciation for the benefits received but give much to others.

Helpless personalities love to be looked after by others and depend on others to get things done for them.

In fact, they excel at demanding that others meet their needs and may not be grateful when others meet their needs.

4. The value system: people with omnipotent personalities may put themselves down and have inflated esteem for people who demonstrate few true attributes or accomplishments. Powerless personalities value themselves highly and place a lower value on others.

5. Self-esteem: the self-esteem of omnipotents can suffer despite a fierce work ethic and their own accomplishments. Powerless personalities show high and even inflated self-esteem, even when they have few real accomplishments.

6. The way to commit to others: omnipotent personalities are steadfast and display a way of commitment to others that is so loyal and, devoted that those commitments endure even when relationships fizzle out.

Powerless personalities engage conditionally. Based on changing whims, they will end their relationship at the slightest disappointment.

7. Scope of interests: omnipotent personalities have an extremely broad field of interest. They have many and varied passions, especially those that perceive any injustice done to others.

The range of interests of powerless personalities is much narrower. Their passions are uniquely personal and reflect a unique vision.

Now you have a way to gauge another person's character unfolding by measuring these traits. You can observe the values, thoughts, interests, functioning and style of interaction of your interlocutors.

Also, you can circumvent your instinctive and emotional reactions that stem from what you see, what you learn superficially, and your automatic and emotional way of judging people.

This effort will allow you to go beyond visual and superficial judgments.

You will be able to replace these unnecessary and inaccurate instinctive and emotional reactions by meticulously observing and evaluating people's standards for their attitudes, their desire or refusal of emotional support, their value system, their self-esteem, their way of being, commitment to others and the extent of their interests in life.

Find out more about Ť understanding others ť with My Success Is Your Success. The book through questions, quotes and reflections provides the necessary elements to explore all about motivation so to shape your success and help those around you do the same. Remember that success is all about team efforts!

Mon succčs est votre succčs

This book is the result of forty years of experience acquired with local and international organizations and companies and during consultancy, change management, transition and marketing services.

This 404-page personal development book was published by WebTech Publishing and is available online in English, North American French and European versions. For more information and to view the flip book, visit webtechPublishing.

About the Author

In addition to writing, Germain Decelles acts as Change Management Strategist. He has over 40 years of business and consultation experience with local and international markets, including sectors such as retail trade, distribution, information technology and communications, transportation, manufacturing, financial services, and government organizations.

Other publications: ISO Pour Tous Le manuel dinformation ISO Le guide de préparation ISO La gestion du changement en affaires La gestion de projet daffaires Le changement POUR TOUS Change your future, now! Mon succčs est votre succčs.

Press Contact

Germain Decelles, o.s.j.

WebTech Management et Publication Incorpored

The art of management - the impact of technology