b"Chapter 5 consider a bouquet of flowers as much proof of love as an entire month of hard work paying the bills.If men and women don't consider these different perspectives, they risk not giving their partners what they really want.When this happens, the man will tend to withhold offerings, as he feels he is not getting enough reward for what he has given, but the woman will continue to give unconditionally even though she feels she is giving more and has started to feel unloved, unappreciated, and bitter.Menshouldtrytoidentifyvarioussmallwaystogivetotheirpartner withoutexpectingtobeaskedfirstandshouldavoidthemistakeof assuming their partner is happy to give and not asking for anything in return.Women need to be careful not to give their partners the wrong impression of being happy when they're not, and if they start feeling resentful, they need to gently reduce their giving, learn to ask for things in return, and make sure to continue to express a lot of appreciation for the efforts of their partners, in order to encourage them to give more.If men give and women appreciate, both end up being happy.10.Communicate difficult emotions: unresolved negative feelings can cause ustoactinwayswereallydon'twanttoormanifestinallsortsof compulsive or addictive behaviors.By acting as loving parents to our own inner child, we finally allow our pent-up feelings to fully express themselves and be released.Toeasepainandwinlove,menoftenseeksuccessobsessivelyand women often seek perfection obsessively.Men can use anger, ego, or forgetfulness, such as immersing themselves in their work, to avoid vulnerable feelings of pain or fear. Women may become depressed or confused to avoid aggressive feelings of anger. Constructive communication is a learned skill, and many of us must first unlearntheparadigmofnegativecommunicationandrepressionof feelings that we experienced as children.Communication works best if it presents the full picture, so that the root of the problem is revealed rather than just the symptoms.178Germain Decelles"