b"Chapter 9 This should be done in a calm, rational way that draws a comfortable parallelforinformationandclarificationtobeconveyedbetweentwo people. The opening of this parallel must be done in a well-thought-out way.Here is how to proceed:a.Duringtheopeningoftheconfrontation:Ratherthansaying something likeI need to talk to you about somethingorI can talk to you,so as not to create discomfort and sometimes even a feeling of panic, rather say something likehey, do you have a minute?orHey, can I ask you a quick question? Thesequestionsarebothvagueandoffernoinsightintothe natureoftheconversation,whichwillpreventtheirimmediate guardfrom getting up.b.Do not use a strong, insolent, or accusatory tone: how you say something is as important as what you say. If you heard about it from a third party, do not go into details about the source. Rather than saying,So-and-so told me that.orI heard so-and-so that you.,say something likeI was told that. So, they could specifically ask who said something, and you don't have to, nor should you tell them who it was. If they insist, just say,I just heard it. c.Leave the possibility to react: don't rush out saying,I heard you said XYZ about me, and that made me really angry. I can't believe you can say that about me! Instead, give them a chance to react to the new information before telling them how you felt. By doing so, you give them the opportunity to clarify what was said or done, or to take immediate responsibility for it.d.Use thethree-stepmethod: start with a positive affirmation, state the problem, end the conversation with a positive affirmation.4.Wait for their reaction, here is what they could do: offer clarification, then wait for a response.Prepare for new information that may cause you to reconsider your position.Enterthesituationwithanopenmind,adesireto 296Germain Decelles"