b"HOW TO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER The manipulation: it's when you're told something that may be true, but it's ultimately for the benefit of the manipulator. Essentially, he won't let you make your own decision and won't acceptorrespectyourdecision.Themanipulatorwillkeep pushing until you make the decision, he wants you to make.b.Getadvicefromahealthexpert:thisisespeciallyimportantifthe manipulator is your spouse or a family member. A counselor can help you identify any underlying personal issues you may be dealing with and guide you through the best ways to navigate your interactions with theotherperson.Anoutsideperspectivecanhelpyouseethings more clearly.c.Is this person secure enough for those around you?Confrontingsomeoneone-on-oneisthebestwaytoaddress disagreements between two people.Askyourself:isthispersonsecureenough(physically,verbally, emotionally) to be confronted, or will there be a negative backlash against me if I do it?If you are unsure of the person in question, do not confront them. Under these circumstances, things will likely be thrown in your face and blamed on you. Here again, the contribution of an advisor can be important.d.Setandenforcehealthyboundaries:stopplayingthemanipulator scenario. Set and enforce healthy boundaries. Boundaries keep you from being hurt, and they have consequences for people who try to cross them.Themoredestructive,themanipulation,thefirmer,theboundary shouldbe.Youmayneedtoincreasethephysicalorrelational distance between yourself and the other person, even to the point of stopping all contact until the unhealthy manipulative behaviors stop.7.What to expect when you stop playing? When you stop playing the manipulator scenario, you can expect one of three things to happen:a.Discontent: they will be upset for a while but will eventually admit their behavior and make changes in their personal life. The manipulation will stop. This is the best outcome, the one we hope for and pray for.Germain Decelles253"