b"DECISION-MAKING MEANDERS communicateclearly,andawillingnesstofindasolution,if possible.If their clarification improves the situation, but still deserves you to be reasonably upset, explain that despite everything, it still made you feel to the point where you felt you should talk to them about it.5.Is the action justified? If the person tries to justify what they did or mentions an invalid reason to defend themselves or save face, stick to the facts. She's or hes the one who doesn't take responsibility for what she or he did or said that hurt you. Offer a brief summary of how she or he made you feel.6.The irrational defense: Usually, when someone feelsstuck,they get too defensive and start by trying to reverse the script.For example,I only said that because you started acting like one. If he tries to reverse the script by saying their action was retaliation for somethingyoudid,askhimwhyhedidn'tjustcomeandtalktoyou directlyinsistingthatyouthoughtyouhadarelationshipwhere communication was open.7.The idiot's game: this is obviously a very juvenile tactic to play dumb. In a perfect world, the person would simply take responsibility for what they said or did. Butsinceshechoosestogothisroute,she'snotgoingtomagically remember what she did. If the person is playing dumb or denying their actions, just say something like,Oh thank God, because when I heard or saw that, I was really upset for a minute or two. I thought you really said that, and I didn't want to believe it. 8.Put the pride aside: at best, what most rational adults should strive to do is put their pride aside and take responsibility for the fact that what they did or said provoked a reaction negative enough to create a situation they had to deal with.If they apologize, you can either forgive them and move on, or tell them how you felt before forgiving them.Eitherway,dependingontheseverityofthesituation,youshould consider whether they take responsibility for their actions, want to actively rectify, and hope for sincere forgiveness.Germain Decelles297"