b"DISCOVERING YOURSELF AS TO BETTER UNDERSTAND OTHERSThere is also the dynamic of past relationships. If you haven't felt supported or heard when asking for what you needed in past relationships,romanticorotherwise,youmaystruggletocommunicate effectively in your present relationships.Whether you had an abusive partner or a partner who simply didn't care about your thoughts and feelings, you may not have felt able to express yourself. You have remained silent to protect yourself from anger, rejection, and other negative experiences. But as a result, you have not learned to defend your needs and rights.You need to put everything into perspective, because present situations are different from those of the past. It can be difficult to get out of destructive situations that are similar or not, but it is always better to ask for help than to continue the destruction of your life.FEAR OF FAILUREEveryone hates to fail, but for some people, failure poses such a significant psychologicalthreatthattheirmotivationtoavoidfailureoutweighstheir motivation to succeed.Thisfearoffailureleadsthemtounconsciouslysabotagetheirchancesof success in various ways.Failure can elicit feelings such as; disappointment, anger, frustration, sadness, regret, and confusion which, while unpleasant, are usually not enough to trigger a full-fledged fear of failure.Indeed, the word is somewhat of a misnomer, as it is not a failure per se that underlies the behavior of those who suffer from it. On the contrary, the fear of failure is essentially a fear of shame.People who fear failure are motivated to avoid failure not because they cannot handlethebasicemotionsofdisappointment,anger,andfrustrationthat accompany such experiences, but because failure also makes them feel deep shame.Shame is a toxic psychological emotion, because without feeling bad about our actionsthe culpabilityor our effortsthe regret,shame makes us feel bad about who we are.Germain Decelles85"