b"Chapter 2 In other words, these behaviors helped you adapt to a past situation, such as a traumatic childhood or a toxic relationship, in order to survive the challenges you faced. They may have appeased you or defended you at the time. However, these methods of adaptation, when situations and circumstances evolve or simply change, they can cause difficulties.Some of the major contributing factors, for example, experiences established in our early relationships are often repeated in relationships throughout life. We are attached to these experiences. They mean something to us and it's hard to let them go.Now suppose you had parents who never paid much attention to you unless they were angry.You know it's not a good thing to make people angry, however, this experience for you is compelling because of this parenting. For you, making people angry is the only way to generate interest, so you feel stuck in this life experience where it is tempting, even attractive, to make people angry with you.This can appear, for example, in your work, where you fail to show up on time. At first, your supervisor forgives and encourages you, but as time goes on and you're still not on time, your supervisor gets angry and eventually fires you. 84Germain Decelles"